If I were a stone, I would be: nondescript
If I were a bird, I would be: a vulture.
If I were a machine, I would be: wait, you mean i'm not, already?
If I were a tool, I would be: a pen, or a pencil
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: stunted
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: overcast
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: oh... some sort of monster. (or maybe i should be more positive?)
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a violin...
If I were an animal, I would be: a mosquito
If I were a color, I would be: grey
If I were an emotion, I would be: ... a lack thereof
If I were a vegetable, I would be: well, i already am, half the time.
If I were a sound, I would be: quiet
If I were a car, I would be: wrecked
If I were a song, I would be: from despair to where - manic street preachers
If I were a band I would be: manic street preachers
If I were to trade places with another person, it would be: i don't know. her. maybe.
If I were a movie, I would be: the royal tenenbaums
If I were a food, I would be: i'd rather be empty
If I were a material, I would be: scratchy.
If I were a taste, I would be: bitter
If I were a religion, I would be: atheism
If I were an object, I would be: still in the package
If I were a word, I would be: 'nothing'
If I were a facial expression I would be: blank
If I were a subject in school I would be: english, maybe, though i never did my homework
If I were a cartoon I would be: please don't make me say 'daria'
If I were a shape I would be: two-dimensional
If I were a number I would be: next to nothing
If I were a month I would be: november
If I were a day of the week I would be: monday. i'm tiring.
If I were a time of day I would be: past midnight
If I were a direction I would be: due south. heh.
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a book shelf
If I were a sin I would be: jealousy
If I were a liquid I would be: stagnant
If I were a method of death I would be: choking
If I were a planet I would be: ... saturn. cold.
If I were a scent I would be: astringent
If I were a sea animal I would be: a barnacle



If I were a stone, I would be: through somebody's front window.
If I were a bird, I would be: carmen says i would be 'something loud, like a crow'
If I were a machine, I would be: a robot!
If I were a tool, I would be: a wheelbarrow (no, dude, those things are totally fun, seriously)
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: um, i don't know, some kind of weed
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: hurricane, but you can call me... (no, just kidding. heh.)
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: in d&d, heh.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: um, i don't know, a guitar. rock!
If I were an animal, I would be: um... i'll leave these metaphors for carmen. she's the writer here, not me.
If I were a color, I would be: orange
If I were an emotion, I would be: idle amusement
If I were a vegetable, I would be: fed to some kid's dog, under the table. heh.
If I were a sound, I would be: carmen says "something grating" (she's so nice, isn't she?)
If I were a car, I would be: having better luck with girls, probably. haha.
If I were a song, I would be: baby blue sedan - modest mouse
If I were a band I would be: modest mouse (but i want to say pink floyd)
If I were to trade places with another person, it would be: someone lucky
If I were a movie, I would be: chasing amy
If I were a food, I would be: delicious, baby.
If I were a material, I would be: um... don't ask me, man.
If I were a taste, I would be: sweeeeet
If I were a religion, I would be: a cult classic!
If I were an object, I would be: the object of your affections. ... what?
If I were a word, I would be: 'dude!'
If I were a facial expression I would be: mindless grinning
If I were a subject in school I would be: in the back row, sleeping
If I were a cartoon I would be: okay, sifl and olly isn't a cartoon, but i'll say that, anyway.
If I were a shape I would be: (hip to be) square
If I were a number I would be: looking out for number one. (oh, man, i'm so witty... not.)
If I were a month I would be: july (summer vacation, man)
If I were a day of the week I would be: friday!
If I were a time of day I would be: noon-ish
If I were a direction I would be: westward-ho!
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: my bed
If I were a sin I would be: selfishness
If I were a liquid I would be: highly carbonated
If I were a method of death I would be: something from the darwin awards
If I were a planet I would be: well, men are from mars, aren't they?
If I were a scent I would be: dirty laundry
If I were a sea animal I would be: flipper! haha!



If I were a stone, I would be: a pebble
If I were a bird, I would be: a pigeon
If I were a machine, I would be: more efficient, probably.
If I were a tool, I would be: a paintbrush
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: a dandelion
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: partially cloudy
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: anything, just not some sort of pretty unicorn or fairy. dear god.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a 50 cent harmonica
If I were an animal, I would be: a stupid little doggie
If I were a color, I would be: beige. boring.
If I were an emotion, I would be: longing
If I were a vegetable, I would be: um, i don't know, healthy? heh.
If I were a sound, I would be: elevator music
If I were a car, I would be: being driven
If I were a song, I would be: pounding - the doves
If I were a band I would be: i don't know... live.. or u2, maybe.
If I were to trade places with another person, it would be: well, i wish i knew what you were thinking
If I were a movie, I would be: being john malkovich
If I were a food, I would be: some sort of vegetable
If I were a material, I would be: cotton
If I were a taste, I would be: a funny aftertaste
If I were a religion, I would be: agnosticism
If I were an object, I would be: a mask
If I were a word, I would be: 'please'
If I were a facial expression I would be: curved eyebrows or half-smiles
If I were a subject in school I would be: far more boring than i'd like to be
If I were a cartoon I would be: escaflowne
If I were a shape I would be: ... curvy.
If I were a number I would be: multi-digits
If I were a month I would be: march
If I were a day of the week I would be: tuesday
If I were a time of day I would be: lazy afternoons
If I were a direction I would be: southwest
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a cabinet
If I were a sin I would be: coveting
If I were a liquid I would be: old liquor
If I were a method of death I would be: slow aging
If I were a planet I would be: the moon
If I were a scent I would be: cheap air fresheners.
If I were a sea animal I would be: a fish like any other

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